From June 2007

Your iPhone is now ready for use… as a paperweight.

Dear Apple,

Thanks for making the iPhone and providing zillions of them at launch day. I walked into one of your fine stores and bought one within 5 minutes. No lines. I missed the cheering employees tho. Anyway, you guys rock. Way to go. I’ll get back to you about the features later.

Love

Michael
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Dear ATT,

Could you screw up the launch of a phone any more? I don’t think so, but if anybody could do it, I feel confident that you can. I’m a simple guy, so the way I see things is like this:

1. You are a telecommunications company. This is your primary business.
2. You provide cell phone services to about 60 million people on a daily basis. You have been doing this for a number of years.
3. You are suddenly unable to deal with providing services for the few thousand suckers (including moi) who, against all odds, were able to purchase an iPhone on launch day.
4. You do not post any announcements, updates or news about the situation on your web site or to users.
5. You disconnect my old number without allowing me to activate my new one.
6. Your suggestion that I call your help desk using my now disconnected phone is pointless and infuriating.

In short, I’m going to go with Walt on this one. The device’s major drawback [is]: “the cellphone network it uses.”. Good luck holding on to your exclusive arrangement with Apple. I know I’ll “switch” as soon as another carrier comes into the picture.

Sincerely,

Michael

iPhone Porn and the “google” neologism juggernaut

iPhone Pr0n

As is my habit, I woke up this morning and reached for whatever new iPhone pr0n was available. Luckily for me, Apple had just thrown up a lengthy (20 mins) new “documentary”/feature propaganda (20 mins) featuring a friendly Apple designer/model/actor.

One thing that stood out for me, in between high contrast video of the phone merrily multi-tasking it’s way on to being the ultimate device ever, was the Google search demo. The guy, let’s call him Bob, opens up the iPhone and initiates a search by typing a few phrases into Safari’s search field, then hitting the “google” button. Very interesting.

Subversion, reappropriation and modification of key terms and phrases are some of the hallmarks of the current US administration’s communications and the previous two Republican campaigns and as they’ve proved, he who controls the language, controls the universe [sorry Frank Herbert!].

It seems awkward to talk about yahooing for something, but googling has become synonymous with searching for – and finding – information and that may be the subtle difference that means everything, especially as searching and finding heads mobile. This is all pure speculation, but I wonder if the iPhone will change the action button to “yahoo” if you switch to using their search? Time will tell. I’ll let you know on Friday.

Transvestar: A man who uses a female avatar

Transvestar

n. a man who uses a female avatar on popular online services such as Second Life, World of Warcraft and many others.
(alt) n. A superstar tranvestite, like Mitzi from Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

So we were having drinks with Alli Mooney and Jeremy from NGT at my place of the moment – Death & Company – last night when for some obscure reason we started chatting about female avatars and the men who use them. This sparked off one of the few cells in my gray matter which managed to survive the influence of the delightful cocktails (go for the Ramble or the Simo Moon) and kick a few lazy language related synapses into gear. The result: Transvestar. Born of cocktail and conversation. Now free to spread throughout the world. Fly my pretty, fly.

PS Some casual googling turned up zilch. Let’s hope I’m #1 soon!

Nothing on Elgoog

Wherecamp

Wherecamp I went to my second unconference yesterday – the geographically themed Wherecamp SF held at Yahoo’s campus in Sunnyvale. After the great experience I had at MobileCamp a few weeks ago, I was interested to see what the format of this one was like. Ryan Sarver, Leonard Lin, Anselm Hook and everybody else involved did an excellent job of introducing the format and setting the stage for the presenters.

Unfortunately I didn’t have enough time to stay for the full two day neogeographical extravaganza, but I did get to see:

  1. Simon King from Yahoo talk about their incendiary new Project FireEagle (great codename), David Troy from Twittervision describe how he’s enabling light location based messaging/posting through Twitter.
  2. Rich Gibson, Andrea Moed, Duncan McCall and many others in the heated location based stories discussion.
  3. Michael Chang and Aaron Koblin show off a slick OpenGL-laden visualization from Yahoo’s Design Innovation Group which builds on Koblin’s earlier Flight Patterns.
  4. Dens give a talk about location based gaming, including Pacmanhattan and the area/code Plundr DS port.

All in all, fantastic.